Happy New Year

I just spent the last three days laying laminate flooring. Unfortunately, it isn't finished yet. Everything has been put on hold for the project, including my New Year's resolutions. At least it is good exercise.

Health: Met diet goals. No exercise.
Family: Went to Monkey Joe's for Brittany's birthday party. It was great fun for the kids.
Spiritual: Made scripture goals for the year.
Work: On vacation
Personal: Reading tonight.

I'm still playing around with the format. I kind of like the categories. Maybe I will continue with that.

New Year's journal

Okay here's the deal, I've once again decided to write a journal. I don't know how long it lasts, let it's worth another try. I've thought a lot about the best way to do this, and I think the best is to utilize the technology of the Internet.

I guess I'll start with the summary of 2006. As a family we had a pretty good year. I successfully passed my boards. Work has been uneventful. The kids are another year older. That's about it.

Today at work I did a submandibular gland excision. I really fell out of practice. Other than thyroids, I don't get a lot of head and neck experience. Everything went well, but it took about twice as long as it should have. At least I haven't forgotten how to do a tonsillectomy. Work was otherwise uneventful. Another day another lame consult.

Today I ran 2 miles. It felt like 5 miles. Tomorrow more of the same.

I have made several New Year's resolutions:
1. Lose 30 pounds.
2. Train for and complete a half marathon in the year 2007.
3. Learn to play the piano.
4. Read one history book per month, and complete one or two history courses in the year 2007.
5. Regular Scripture study and family home evenings.

What are the odds of me finishing these goals? Pretty slim, but it's always worth a try.

I hate Monday

Well, as usual I ate too much over the weekend. I don't know why weekends are so hard. I just love to eat. I run a calorie deficit all week only to make up for it on the weekend. Lifestyle change, bah. I am exhausted as usual.

Extensors

Getting killed at work so missed PT yesterday. I'm having trouble getting long runs in with manditory PT at 0530 every am. Every little bit helps I guess.

ORN: Run 1.5 miles
"Running" total - 13.6

Mexican boycott

Today, immigrants across the country refused to go to work in protest of a perceived failure of the US government to guarantee what they consider basic rights that they deserve for, well, being immigrants. As a counter-protest, I am boycotting Mexican food. Screw you Taco Bell. No more ethnic food for me. Me and my fat ass are stickin to good old fashioned American cuisine. I challenge the whole country to join me. Together we will prove that we don't need any of your lard-laden south of the border crap to be fat. We can manage that quite well on our own, thank you very much.

Today I did special pops PT. Running, push-ups, and sit-ups. Not enough running, so I'm going to do a long run on my own tomorrow. My arms are sore.

Nothing else new. Worried about boards a bit today. Talked to Susie Early on the phone. She is doing well. I don't feel like writing anything else.

ORN: 1.5 miles
"Running" total - 12.1 miles (I remember when I could run that far all at once)

Good for me. Its the weekend.

ORN: 5 miles, 5/1
"Running" total - 10.6 miles

Hooah

I have decided that I don't hate my job or my life. I hate my employer (who shall remain nameless on the 1 in a million chance that the wrong person reads this). I'm too tired to complain anyway.

I have to give a lecture tomorrow. I didn't prepare in time, so I had to skip the run. I probably need a rest day anyway. Diet is going ok.

Hopefully I will have something profound to say about something at some point. Today is the 20th anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster. I am sure there is more where that came from. Pick your poison - global warming from fossile fules or toxic cesspools from nuclear reactors. Screw my great-grandkids. I am sure I wouldn't like them anyway.

Fatty Fat Fatty

I ran again today. Wow, two days in a row. Tomorrow will need to be a cross training day as my legs were really feeling it. Feeling fine.

More clinic today. Seems like everyone is crazy. Maybe its just me. I can't figure out it I hate my job specifically or my life generally. I'm pretty sure its my job as I am happy when I am home. I talked to my old med school friends in Chicago. Unhappiness with the medical profession was the underlying theme. I think part of it is unrealistic expectations. You go to medical school with the idea that you will become a God and change the world. When you finish all you get is another plain old job just like everyone else. I should have become a history professor. The grass is always greener....

ORN:
Run 3 miles
"Running" total 5.6 miles

Riverwalk

Today was the first day of my new lifestyle change. According to John, I am in the "inspiration" stage. I don't feel overwhelmingly inspired, but I do feel positive about my performance on day #1. I ran about 2.5 miles on the Riverwalk. It was a bit hot, but the scenery was beautiful. I thought mostly about how far I have regressed from when I was running 30 miles a week. Not exactly positive thinking, but I also remember when I couldn't run around the block, so I guess it evens out. I don't really have a running plan yet. I am just trying to remember how to put one foot in front of the other.

Saw a ton of clinic at work today. Nothing interesting, as usual.

Past

Today in church we talked about how much easier it is to walk towards a goal looking forward rather than always looking back over your shoulder. While I do agree with this idea, I find my past fitness demons so close at my heels that it is impossible to keep facing forward. When I was in grade school and Jr. High I was always "chubby". While I was never the "fat" kid, my weight prevented me from ever feeling socially acceptable. Anyone who has ever been routinely teased about being fat as a kid knows that it is nearly impossible to overcome the feelings of inadequacy that becomes embedded in your self-consciousness. Jennifer and I were looking at some old high school photos of the two of us yesterday. I was absolutely stunned at how skinny I was. I remember when the pictures were taken. At that time, I truly thought I was fat. I have never been anorexic or bulemic, but as a result of my younger "chubby" days, I have never had and will likely never have a normal body image. Looking forward isn't as easy as it sounds.

Saturday night

Two weeks ago I flew to Chicago and took my boards. The experience was the single most painful experience of my academic career. I have never felt physically ill after taking a test before. All the studying and worrying put me behind at work, so the last two weeks have been crazy.

I am trying to re-commit to a healthy lifestyle. I want to lose 40 pounds and eventually train for a marathon. This is part of the reason that I am writing this Blog. I have never kept a journal before, so I really don't know what to write. I guess I will make it up as I go along. I am feeling fatter and slower than I have since my intern year. I know what I need to do to feel better, but I don't seem to have the courage to start making any real changes. Monday is the day I am going change. Unfortunately, I have had many Monday's that were going to be the day I change. I usually don't make it past Tuesday before giving up. Despair. I wish I had the passion of John Bingham. John is one of my heroes. His guidance helped me lose 50 pounds and finish a half-marathon 4 years ago. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon into a pile of jelly doughnuts and haven't been able to lift my fat ass back on again.

Several months later....

I am still hear, fatter and slower than ever. I have to take boards next weekend. After that, I am thinking about restarting my blog. My theme may be a bit "broader" however. If you don't get the quotations indicating a pun, you haven't seen my ass lately.

Long on rant

Much to my surprise, someone besides Taylor actually read my blog. Since it is late and I don't have anything else to "rant" about, I figured I would respond to a comment left in response to my post regarding ending African poverty. The quote is as follows, "long on rant, short on specifics. prove that republicans work as hard for the non-rich as democrats. i bet you can't."

#1 This is my blog. Its purpose is to provide me with an outlet to publicly "rant" about everything I see wrong with the world. I'm not trying to "prove" anything, especially not to people who have an obvious political agenda dictated by partisan politics.

#2 If you actually carefully read my comments, you would know that I have never stated that the Republican party works harder for the "non-rich" (how you define this term, I have absolutely no idea). My underlying point is that many leading politicians are guided completely by partisan politics and personal expediency. To generalize, I don't believe Republicans do as much as they can for the poor. However, casual observation of Democratic leaders leads me to the conclusion that Democrats spend much more time criticizing Republicans for not helping the poor than they actually spend helping the poor. Collectively, I truly don't think either group gives a flying crap unless it helps to increase their political power. I am now going to transition my comments from POLITICAL PARTIES to INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE. It is not possible to prove whether liberals or conservatives do more as individuals to help the poor. I am simply tired of the mainstream news media happily propagating the assumption that because one is conservative he or she doesn't care about the welfare of the world. It is simply not fair or accurate. I am quite conservative, and I care deeply about those who are less fortunate. I give over 10% of my income to a charitable religious organization that uses the money directly for humanitarian aid. There are many conservatives who give far more than me. Do conservatives give more than liberals? Who knows, who cares. The point is that the assumed liberal monopoly on humanitarianism covertly and overtly presented by the media is a load of partisan political crap that does nothing but create division among individuals who could actually make a difference in the world just stop arguing and work together to solve problems.

#3 Just as a side note. Here is a link to an interesting article about GW Bush and poverty in Africa. I will readily agree with many criticisms of Bush, but apathy towards extreme poverty in Africa is not one of them.

Liberal Assumptions

Time for another assumption: Conservatives are the whores of big business and corporate money while Liberals are champions of the rights of the common man. This assumption immediately came to mind today when I saw a commercial paid for by www.moveonpac.org. This well-endowed, powerful political organization is essentially beginning the inevitable protest of President Bush's nomination of a Supreme Court Justice before he has even made it. According to this organization, American life and liberty hinges on the selection of a "qualified" (ie Liberal) Justice. More diarrhea to the load of liberal crap that we are fed by the media every day.

Let's evaluate our initial assumption in light of the recent Supreme Court Case Kelo v. New London. In this case, the court held that the government may take ANY private property for ANY use EVEN for private commercial use. This loose interpretation of the constitution holds that eminent domain can be claimed in order to allow private development that benefits public welfare simply by an increase in tax revenue. Thomas Jefferson would role over in his grave. Former Supreme Court Justice O'Connor described this power as a reverse Robin Hood - take from the poor, give to the rich. Essentially, because the government can argue increased tax revenue from ANY private development, NO private property is safe. However, the poor will obviously be the main target of government and corporate greed.

Given our initial assumption, this decision must have come from the conservative Judges right?? Absolutely WRONG!!! It was the CONSERVATIVE justices who dissented from the LIBERAL justices in this decision. Did you hear this from he mainstream media? You've got to be flipping kidding me.

The assumption that Democrats care more about the little guy than Republicans must be debunked. It seems to me that leading Democrats couldn't give a flying crap about anything unless it is politically expedient for them to do so. This is not to say that Republicans deserve a proverbial pat on the back for their infinite acts of selflessness. Both groups are guilty, and We, the People, must prevent ourselves from being separated into two herds of mindless cattle by the prod of the media.

Hi Taylor.

State of the World

Today the US news media is delighting in the tragedy of the London terrorist attacks. Nothing like death and destruction topped with a subtle "I-told-you-so" to boost ratings. Today the world should be discussing the G-8 Summit with its goal to eliminate extreme poverty in Africa and southeastern Asia. Instead, we are again forced to endure images of horror, compliments of a cowardly band of criminals who claim to have some religious point to prove. News flash to Islamic terrorists and those who sympathize with them - if there is a Hell you have no need to call ahead for reservations. Bastards. If anything good comes from this latest attack, it is that the Western AND Eastern World's resolve to fight terrorism will solidify. Today, radical Islamic terrorists demonstrated their values - murder, chaos, hatred. In response to this, the civilized nations of the world MUST demonstrate their values of hope, charity, and love by not deviating from the agenda of the G8 Summit.

P.S. - To all of you radical Islamic terrorist supporters who read my Blog -- SCREW YOU, you spineless pieces of worthless garbage.

Hi Taylor.

Liberal humanitarian monopoly

I am tired. Sick and tired. Sick, tired, and pissed off. I am a conservative, middle class, white, male professional which means that I am typically pissed off at the liberal media and the garbage that they try to pass off as objective journalism. Today, I am pissed off at conservative America. Shame on you. Why am I upset at you? Because you have consistently allowed the “mainstream” liberal media to give credit where credit is not necessarily due. Let me illustrate my point. When I ask the average American who cares about the poor, Republican or Democrat, what answer will I get? Democrat. Who cares about the AIDS epidemic in Africa, conservative or liberal? Liberal. Who gives a crap about freaking starving kids in Malawi, pachyderms or donkeys? Dumb asses. Not them – YOU. These false generalizations have been so wrongly engrained into our collective social thought that many conservatives find themselves thinking that they actually have to stand against starving kids in Africa to avoid ostracism from their own party. This is absolute nonsense! Its time for a reality check – liberals do NOT possess a monopoly on humanitarian goodness. At the risk of making some mildly hypocritical generalizations of my own, let me continue. When you are flipping through channel after channel of reality T.V. garbage, who do you see on those commercials begging you to help fight disease and extreme poverty? Christians. Those bastards are at it again. How dare they move in on the supposed liberal humanitarian monopoly. The truth is, Christian groups have been on the front lines of humanitarian relief as long as there has been such a thing. How can this be? Between commercials, “reality” television tells me that Christians are backwards, superstitious, and racist. This July, the G8 will meet in Scotland with a primary objective of improving the conditions of extreme poverty on the continent of Africa. As he has done many times in the past, George Bush has made his commitment to this cause clear. Where are the media parades and the collective kumbaya a Hillary Clinton or Oprah Winfrey would get for such action? Conservatives must speak out in support of G.W. on this one and force the media to listen. We cannot continue to allow the perceived monopoly on humanitarianism.

Want to add your voice against poverty? Check out www.one.org. I promise you won’t get liberal cooties.

Oprah

Today I decided to allow a good friend of mine to choose the topic of my next post. With a chuckle he chose, "Oprah Winfrey". He knows me. I am a conservative white male - a fact that defines me as a racist, sexist pig. Do I watch the Oprah Show? No. Will I ever? Not likely. Her feministic optimism threatens the protective shell of pesimissm which defines my masculinity. Oprah was recently nominated as one of the 100 greatest Americans in history. As a white, middle-class male I obligated to be offended that a black woman has been nominated for this award while some of the country's finest dead white men have been overlooked. Time for a reality check my friend.

The world needs more Oprah Winfreys. While I certainly do not consider myself a fan of the celebrity, I recognize the sincerity of her efforts to help the less fortunate of the world. This is a refreshing change from the onslaught of profane nonsense that the television networks successfully sell as "reality". Oprah is one of the most influencial and financially successful women in the world, and she has chosen to use her resources to help others. While primetime reality television continues to cater to a society of fools, Oprah attempts to quietly help women deal with the real world - spouse abuse, substance abuse, mental illness, poverty, starving kids in Africa. Her particular approach certainly doesn't appeal to my inate angry white maleness, but I can forgive her this as she is, after all, neither angry nor a white male. So my friend, that's what I think of Oprah Winfrey.

Oh, and before I forget, Donald Trump, Dan Rather, and Michael Savage can kiss my white ass.

Introduction

Why did I decide to begin a journey into the abyss of the Blog? I am tired of it all. Tired of Michael Jackson. Tired of Paris Hilton and reality television. Most of all, I am tired of today's news media which has lost its sense of journalistic purpose to join the ranks of the entertainment industry. I must ask the question, "when is enough, enough?"

Today, the autopsy report of Terri Schiavo is front page news. With all due respect to Terri's family, why must we continue to dwell on the death of one terminally ill handicapped woman while we ignore the 30,000 people who starve to death each day? Enough is enough. For the last 4 months, the nation has been glued to their seats watching Michael Jackson face trial for child molestation. Did the press use the opportunity to comment on the fact that about 1 million U.S. children are the victims of abuse and neglect each year? They did not. Modern "journalism" in the United States has joined the ranks of the entertainment industry - just another version of "reality" television. The liberal media is guilty. The conservative talk shows are guilty. Our society is guilty. I am guilty. Genocide, rape, child abuse, starvation, poverty -- this is our world. It's time to recognize it. I'ts time to take responsibility for it.

I am not a hippie or a tree-hugger. I am not a liberal. I am a religious white male who is a professional in the U.S. Army. I am a poster boy for white middle-class America. Based on my self-description, the liberal media would infer that I am a person who cares about wealth and self, with complete disregard to the world around me. Society may accept this assumption, but I do not. I would argue that the label that I have been given is a perfect description of the news media itself. The media would have us believe that they give a crap. The fact is they do give a crap - about the almighty dollar.